Orihime's Reflections
by dancingknight15
Summary: Orihime's reflections following Ulquiorra's death. Oneshot.


This reflection oneshot is right after the Arrancar Arc end (I'm sure it's AU now after what happened after that arc until now, which I'm not caught up on yet, however). As much as I disliked Orihime at the beginning of the series, she grew on me during the Arrancar Arc and fell in love with Ulquiorra x Orihime. This is my attempt at a tribute for them (this is also my first bleach fic, so please be nice). Also, if anyone has suggestions for good Ulquiorra x Orihime fics, please send them my way :)

...

Orihime was writing. It took so much to organize everything. She felt that the only way she could adjust being back to the real world was by writing her thoughts down. But she always found herself caught at the same part.

She could write about her feelings when she decided to leave with Ulquiorra to Hueco Mundo. She was leaving to protect her friends. She could write out her terror when she thought that Sado-kun and Rukia-san were in grave danger. The terror of the bullying she received while she was there. She could even write of the awe and fear she felt in front of Aizen.

But there was one thing she could not put into words. And unable to move past it would keep her from feeling free. Sighing, she closed her diary once again. Why? Why was it so hard to write about it?

Perhaps it was because she had failed to reach his hand when he finally extended it out to her. And the gaze he had given her—the flicker of realization of something…what had it been?

Cold, heartless and manipulating…that's what she had believed Ulquiorra to be. He was her captor, her enemy. He was emptiness itself…but she believed that she could reach out to him. She pitied him.

But that was not what he sought from her at the end. As he disappeared, unable to maintain his own body following the damage he had received from Ichigo's attacks, he was seeking her…

And the tears began once again.

It was as if Ulquiorra had left a part of the emptiness he had embodied within her, in exchange for the piece of her heart he had taken with him.

Orihime did not dare to speak of this to anyone else. She was afraid of admitting that she had truly become one of them during her time there. One of the Espada. She had become Ulquiorra's object—more than he had anticipated. And he had finally reached over to her side.

Had he lived, could he have become one of their friends? His hollow origins aside, could he have come to the real world? She suppressed a bittersweet smile as she thought of him sitting in a café, eating an ice cream. How ridiculous…yet how much she wished that it could have been a reality…

"So here's where you are," a friendly voice called out. Quickly wiping any trace of tears, Orihime looked up to face the speaker, and felt relieved to see that it was Rangiku-san.

"Hm, I thought we could do some shopping together," Rangiku said, smiling. Only her eyes betrayed her serious concern. She knew the transition back to the real world would not be easy for Orihime and had volunteered to be her guard during her downtime—as an excuse to be a support to her.

After spending a good part of the day together, she still had not gotten Orihime to open up.

"What's been bothering you? You can tell me anything you know," she said finally.

Orihime shook her head.

"There's nothing bothering me. I'm just a little overwhelmed with coming back, that's all," she said.

Rangiku sighed.

"Is it about Ichigo?" she asked. Orihime shook her head. Rangiku paused. Now she had no leads whatsoever.

"It's about Ul…" Orihime began, but suddenly found it difficult to speak. Even uttering his name seemed blasphemous. As if she did not deserve to say it.

"The Fourth Espada?" Rangiku asked, astutely picking up on that fact that Orihime had difficulty saying the name.

"Yes, I..I wasn't able to…" Orihime began before she began sobbing. Despite trying to keep the tears from falling, she couldn't stop. Rangiku embraced her softly.

"I also lost someone important to me in that fight," she murmured, "But I don't think they would want us to be stuck crying forever, you know?"

Orihime knew better than to ask Rangiku-san whom it was she had lost if she did not volunteer the information herself. Besides, this demonstrated to Orihime that she had been fixated on her own pain too much—and failed to aid others. Ichigo and the loss of his powers…and now Rangiku-san…

She nodded and smiled. The woman Ulquiorra had loved was not her weak self, but the self that had stayed strong despite all odds. She would not give into her weakness and betray his memory. She owed that much to him at least. To continue to reach out to him by becoming stronger, by living the life he had not been able to. The world he had finally sought after, attained through her eyes…


End file.
